Letter to Paul

Dear Paul,

When I ran into you a year ago during summer solstice, you asked me why I’m always on my own. I do not feel that at the time I properly answered your question, and would like to take the opportunity now to correct myself and elaborate on my personal truth and path. The funny thing is, I actually told you that I lived alone, although at the time I technically did not. Technically I am never alone, however, physically, before and after the solstice point came and passed, I actually lived with my then recently widowed mother. For the most part of my adult life however, I have lived on my own, but I have moved around a lot, so being independent in general is just how I get by and what I am used to.

I trust myself and my instinct first and foremost. That comes from myself. Other energies around me have had the tendency to hold strong on their own, and I have allowed that influence to lead me astray from following my own true intuition in the past. Since a year and half ago at this point, I have moved out of my Toronto apartment and been travelling around a bit and co-existing in different places with different people which has actually really helped me to reflect on where I am on my path, my own personal strength, and also allowed me to see different reflections of myself which have all helped me get to know myself better and continue to grow. Solstice gathering in general has been a huge step for me coming out of my shell (the darkness), towards the light of community. Thank you for your presence and for asking the question. I must apologize for not being fully present at the time of our last meeting. I hope that in time you will receive this letter and accept it for what it is, and understand the beauty within the unfolding of our relationship and meeting of that I am truly grateful for.

Essentially we are all born alone, and we we will all die alone. Birth, life, death, re-birth, through cycles we each follow a path unique to us as an individual. Although you can be present within your current life, life within a human body would not exist without death. On a soul level, I know that I am never alone. Since I have come out of the darkness, I have been strongly guided towards the light and one-ness that is all source. The reason I came to celebrate solstice in the first place is because my soul guides along with the assistance of my higher self led me there. One-ness as I have witnessed is wild! It is the whole, everywhere, everyone, and everything. The higher one ascends towards this point, the faster one can travel, and it may even appear that one can be in many places at the same time. That gets into a different topic of space and time, earthly and other bodies..

As I have come to know myself, I am a free spirit. I am not a follower, I am a leader. I take my own space. When I am “alone”, I am really not alone because I am always with myself, and I really love myself. I’m like my own best friend. If you want, you can join me, just the same as anyone has the option to follow anyone else; but everyone has their own path as well. Sometimes paths cross. Sometimes we travel together. Sometimes we travel alone. (As do the planets in orbit, planet Earth as a whole, the sun, the moon, the wolf, spiders, ants, birds, etc.)

I used to to live in the darkness and at many times I would think that I was alone. This has been a part of my path and my growth that has led me towards the light and journey of opening myself to more connections, light and love. This is the life that I chose for my soul. It is my destiny. It is freeing to now know that I always have myself and can rely on myself 100%. This freedom and this transition into a leader is what I came here for.  My life path number is 5: freedom! Amen. Let the possibilities, the connections, and opportunities flow. When I am on my own, I make myself available and more open to new experiences. I am an adventurer. I am a true Sagittarius. I am the one and only me. Thank you for being you. Until we meet again,

Love always,

Written on June 30th, 2019

Song references:
☆ ‘I am the only one’ -Children of Bodom
☆ ‘I walk alone’ – The Roots